You're Still Mine (TICCI TOBY FANFICTION)
by skullduggery's best friend
Summary: Please just, just let me do this. If I don't they will, I don't want that, you don't want that. Do you understand?" He shook his head and gave a dry laugh, "Of course you won't, let's just get this over with." He raised his hatchet and I closed my eyes awaiting the blow that would end my miserable existence. It never came. TICCI TOBY FANFICTION
1. I still love you

I stare into the woods and the fire beginning to reach them as tears run down my face, he's gone I know he is. I still remember what he said to me the day before, the words constantly ring in my mind as I stare into the woods. "I'll be gone soon" he said "And no matter what happens I need you to know that I still love you." I didn't understand what he meant by "gone", but now I know and wish I had held onto him a little bit longer instead of laughing it off. If I'd played more attention to him maybe he'd still be here, maybe I would have been able to save him but now it's too late I can't help him.

At that moment of realisation, I went numb, I didn't realise as I was being dragged away from the spreading fire, I didn't answer or even notice as I was being questioned by police, I couldn't place or feel anything all I could think about was Toby.

*time skip*

A month passed. And the only thing I did was stare at a wall in my room, not going out of my room, not speaking and only drinking and eating when absolutely necessary. I couldn't get it out of my head, Toby _my_ Toby was gone. My head spun in circles thinking about it, nothing and no one seemed real anymore, it just didn't make sense. I felt it in my bones that he wasn't dead, but if he wasn't dead he probably wasn't the Toby I once knew and I didn't know if I wanted that. Either way, I lost him and that wasn't something I could handle. I stood up from my bed and walked over to my window, the woods seemed normal as ever, but I knew, I knew deep down that there was something lurking in the woods, something dark and sinister. It was that something that took Toby and I needed to find out what it was.

A/N: Crappy, I know but it'll get better.


	2. Into the woods

The house was silent, my parents were out at a conference or something like that and I was all alone. I took a deep breath and walked over to my bedroom door, my hand trembled as I reached for the handle, I didn't want to step outside my cocoon but I knew I'd have to. I opened the door and looked into the hallway nothing had changed, good.

I walked down the stairs and towards the front door then hesitated, did I really want to do this? The answer was clear, no. But I had to it for Toby. I opened the door and shivered as a gust of wind hit me, I should have worn a sweater but I wasn't going back upstairs, I might not come down again. I walked out onto the porch and down the steps then turned toward the woods. A shiver ran down my spine as I stared at the tall spindly tree's, it almost felt as if I was being warned not to go in. I shook off the feeling, I needed to do this, I _needed_ to.

I stood at the edge of the woods and let out a shaky breath. 'I can and I will do this.' I whispered to myself. 'I must, for Toby.' Even with my slightly childish bravado I remained scared. Something was off, I didn't want to toy with the balance of things, but my curiosity outweighed the outstanding amount of fear I was feeling. Hesitantly, I nodded and stepped into the woods with my heart threatening to beat out of my chest.

As I walked deeper into the woods I realised that the birds seemed to have stopped singing I heard no sounds whatsoever, it was just eerie silence. I stepped on a twig and it snapped, I flinched. The deeper I went the heavier and darker the silence grew, there came a point when the trees became a canopy of darkness, and all I wanted to turn around and run home but I didn't, I needed to find out what was wrong here. The darkness was of a strange sort, the sort of darkness that makes you think twice before you switch off a light, the sort that you only witnessed in your nightmares.

I thought I could feel eyes burning into the back of my head, protruding into my skin daring my to look back. I hesitantly turned around but I was only greeted by that horrible darkness. I fearfully kept on walking but at a more cautious pace. A twig snapped behind me and I froze up with fear. I began to hear footsteps, _fucking footsteps_ , rushing towards me, it almost seemed to that I was being mocked. I wanted to scream, to cry out for help, but I knew it'd be worthless, nobody was going to come. I shut my eyes, listening to the fast approaching footsteps waiting for whomever they belonged to to pounce, but just as I prepared for the worst, they stopped. They vanished just like that, I spun around expecting to be greeted by a face, but yet again there was nothing, nothing at all. I wasted no time in turning around and running for my life, and just as I broke out of the woods I could've sworn that I heard a laugh.

I locked the front door and made sure that I locked all entryways to the house, and when i felt safe enough, went up to my room. God, I wish I hadn't, standing in my room was a masked figure, casually swing two hatchets back and forth comfortably leaning against my wall. He looked up when I entered, casually cocking his head to the side. "Hello again, Lillian."


	3. He's still here

My body stilled with fear, I stood frozen in my doorway as my attacker leaned against the wall, still swinging his hatchets, he looked as if he was waiting for something, waiting for _me_ to do something. He sighed seemingly exasperated, _Goddammit at what_ , and pushed himself off of the wall, tic, his body twitched slightly. My fear grew as he began walking towards me. He stood towering over me, forcing me to accept his presence; I finally found the strength to move and backed myself into a corner, he scratched his neck with a gloved finger.

"Don't you want to see me Lillian?" He asked, his voice sounding almost disappointed. Who the hell was he and why did his voice sound so familiar, too Goddamn familiar.

"Who are you?" I asked, it came out as a barely audible whisper. Not what I intended at all.

He chuckled and took a step closer to me, another tic, "Why it's me, Toby."

I shook my head, he was lying, he had to be.

"Oh, you didn't think I was dead did you Lillian?" He giggled, and it sent chills down your spine, not the good kind. "You couldn't have possibly thought that, you know better than that." He took another step towards me, tic, tic, what was with his twitching, God it almost reminded me of... no, this man wasn't anything like him.

I clenched my fist anger beginning to build inside of me, he needed to stop and he needed to stop now. I began walking over to him, _why the fuck was I walking towards a maniac?_ I was in front of him, he was staring down at me and although I couldn't see his face, I knew he was smirking. Tic.

"Listen, Toby is gone, he's gone and hes not you, so get out. Get out and leave me alone." My sudden burst of confidence fell when he laughed. It dripped with insanity, drawing into my skin and biting at my bones.

"Yes, yes Toby is gone Lilly, just not in the sense that you're talking about," he sighed, there was a soft 'thud' as he dropped his hatchet and placed a hand under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. "As for leaving you alone, I could never do that Lillian." There was a slight bit of hesitancy in his voice. A tear ran down my face, this wasn't Toby, this couldn't be Toby; he sounded too different, he acted too different, everything about him was too fucking different. The man's hand twitched on my chin and another tear ran down my face, it couldn't be. I took a step back to survey him, he was wearing goggles, a mouth guard, a jacket, a scarf and gloves, no it couldn't be him, but then why the hell did he seem so familiar, why couldn't I get rid of the voice in my head screaming that it was him?

"Lilly?" God his voice, his voice, he sounded so much like him.

"Toby," it came out a reluctant sigh, but I accepted it, it was him no matter how unlikely it seemed. "Hell it is you."

"If course it is, took you long enough." He chuckled.

"Toby," I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck so tight, never wanting to let go, he wrapped an arm around my waist, I continued to cry. "Why'd you leave?" I whispered into his shoulder.

"Because I had to, Lilly, I couldn't loose you, too."

I nodded and held onto him tighter, I was afraid to let him go. "Lilly let go "

I hesitantly let go of him, he stared at me, I couldn't read him but something was awry, but at that moment what wasn't?. "I've missed you Lilly."


	4. But different

_"I've missed you Lilly."_

I say nothing, taking a moment to digest the situation. Toby was alive, he was alive but oh so different. I raise a hand to touch his covered face but he seizes it.

"I really hope that you can forgive me for what I have to do," he paused taking a step back, "I want you by me, _no_ I fucking _need_ you by me-"

"Then I'll be by you, we c-"

"You don't get it," he sighed again running a hand through his already messy hair, "I can't have you, I c-can't y-you won't un-" he clenches his fist and shakes his head, his body twitching, he took a deep breath and then looked back at me. "You won't understand."

It took a minute for it to click, "You're going to leave me again, aren't you?" my voice came out cold and hard but he didn't seem too fazed.

He runs a hand through his hair again, tic, "If only it were that simple." He picked up the hatchet he'd dropped not too long ago, he looked at it hesitantly almost then turned back to look at me.

"Lilly, I hate to say this but you're, you're a distraction. I can't have that, I'm not able to live like this anymore, forgive me, please, say you'll forgive me."

"Toby what-"

"SAY YOU'LL FORGIVE ME!"

My eyes widened at his outburst and I trembled slightly in my reply, "I'll forgive you, just tell me wha-"

I was cut short by him raising a hatchet and swinging it at me, I screamed and ducked, feeling the hatchet missing me by inches and going through the wall. I ran for the door as he struggled to take the hatchet out of the wall, my fingers fumbled around clumsily before finally managing to wrench the door open. The minute I slammed it shut a hatchet went through it, throwing splinters everywhere.

I ran down the stairs in a frenzy, desperately searching for a place to , no, whoever that was screamed in rage at the top of the stairs, "Come back here Lillian! You're just making things harder for yourself!" I could hear his heavy footsteps as he began to come after me. I ran into the kitchen figuring I could get out through the back door, only to remember that I had locked it and taken the key upstairs to my room, idiot. I didn't have time to scorn myself for my stupidity, I looked around frantically quickly realising that the only place I had to hide was under the kitchen table which honestly didn't seem like a good place of concealment. I grabbed a kitchen knife for defence and dived under the table.

"Come out come out wherever you are." He cooed tauntingly, in my head I prayed that he wouldn't find me, that I wouldn't have to face this impersonator who tricked me into believing he was Toby.

"Lillian you're starting to make me angry, and trust me you won't like it when I'm angry." I heard him walk into the kitchen and my body suddenly went numb with fear. I wrapped my arms around myself and silently rocked back and forth as he exploded into a fit of rage. He threw and smashed things, not pausing one until the whole kitchen was a mess and the only remnant being the table, it was then that I realised that he knew that I had been there the entire time. He'd exploded only to strike fear into me, and my current state was absolute proof that it worked.

I didn't realise when but tears had began to fall down my face as he neared the table, stopping only when he reached it and mockingly place his hands on the top, chuckling casually before flipping it, or rather, throwing it. He'd done it with such force that it smashed onto the wall and broke, who was this man? He looked down at me and I could tell that he smirked, "Found you, Lilly."


	5. A distraction

I screamed louder than I've ever screamed in my life as Toby grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into the living room. I kicked and flayed my arms about but nothing helped, he was too strong. I started sobbing and crying out for help although I knew it was all in vain. He stopped dragging me and looked down at me, although his face was covered I could see that he was annoyed, I didn't care I began to struggle even more.  
"Gosh Lillian you really are starting to get on my nerves." He said through gritted teeth. _That's the point_. I growled lowly and proceeded with my struggling. "Stop." He yanked at my hair and I screamed 'no'.

"Fine." He slammed my face into a wall. Everything went black.

I woke up with a groan, where was I and what the hell had happened? I tried to move but soon realised I was tied up in a chair, the memories slammed into me like a brick wall. I was in my living room, tied to a chair because I believed that my best friend was still alive. Toby was gone, _"Gone but not in the sense that you're talking about.."_ his words flowed into my head, is this what he had meant? I heard frantic breathing and looked up to find Toby pulling at his hair and muttering incoherently. He stopped to look at me when I let out a groan. He began approaching me and I struggled to no avail, the ropes were too tight.

"You never give up do you?" He crouched down in front of me and cocked his head to the side. He placed a hand on my cheek and it felt comforting, why did the man who was trying to kill me feel comforting?

"Why, why are you doing this?" I managed to croak out, I had been struggling for quite a while to form words.

He got up and sighed, scratching his neck with a gloved finger. "I-I have t-to."

"No, no you don't."

"YOU WON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND!"

I felt something wet run down my cheek and I realised that I was crying. "I-I will just tell me."

He pulled at his hair again with a long graon, I could see that he was at war with himself. This wasn't him, this wasn't what he wanted to do he was surrounded by a darkness that he couldn't get out of and it was feeding off of him. I could feel it, I could feel the darkness angrily rolling off of him.

"Yo-you're a distraction," he hung his head low and clenched his fist. "I can't live with you alive, _they_ want you d-dead not-t me, n-no ne-never me." He a shook his head vigorously and looks at me, "I need you but I can't have it. I'm tired of thinking of you, I'm tired of caring, you're the only one pulling me away from the barrier, the barrier I need to reach to be able to let go-"

"You don't have to let go, I-"

"I WANT TO LET GO!" He smashed his fist into a wall making me jump.

He was breathing heavily as he picked up his hatchet, glaring at me ferociously. "I need you gone, forever. Please just, just let me do this. If I don't they will, I don't want that, you don't want that. Do you understand?" He shook his head and gave a dry laugh, "Of course you won't, let's just get this over with." He raised his hatchet and I closed my eyes awaiting the blow that would end my miserable existence. It never came.


End file.
